Nights of the Living Dead

In order to understand the full picture of what I am about to describe, I first have to tell you a bit about us. We have been married for 8 years now; both in our second marriage. We are both in the medical field. I am a Family Nurse Practitioner and Director of a small non-profit immigrant clinic in Salt Lake City. I spend my days diagnosing and treating people who, most of the time, have never been to see a health care provider; or at best, have not been to see one for many years. Many times the clinic providers diagnose rare tropical diseases that are more common in immigrant populations, but not so common in the United States. Jerry is a scientist; his area of research is blood development, and in particular, embryonic stem cells. He also studies disease and its effect on the body, but not from a medical provider’s standpoint.

We both knew that, when the time came to get to work, we needed to be very cautious about cleaning out the pack rat’s nest underneath the 5th wheel trailer. Not only could we be infected with potentially dangerous bacterial, viruses or other infectious agents; the other issue is Jerry’s allergy to mice which he developed after years of being around and working with lab rats. It may be hard to imagine a world-class scientist crawling on hands and knees beneath a trailer and digging out a huge rodent nest; but Jerry is what I would call a Renaissance Man; he brews his own beer, cans homemade preserves, produces music that he and his buddies make on their once-yearly 4 day party/sleepover, he can fix ANYTHING that is broken, he keeps up on all the yard work at home, and let’s not forget to mention he does the dishes every night after dinner.

It took both of us just about 3 hours solid, to shovel, push, drag, and manhandle all of the garbage out from beneath the trailer. Here is a sample of what was in the giant rodent nest: paper, plastic, sticks, bones of dead animals, rat feces, hardened dirt, pine cones, wire mesh, small stones, more rat feces, scraps of fabric, and a lot of items that we couldn’t identify.
According to Wikipedia, “Pack rats are prevalent in the deserts and highlands of western United States and northern Mexico. They also occur in parts of the eastern United States and Western Canada. Pack rats are a little smaller than a typical rat and have long, sometimes bushy tails. Pack rats build complex nests of twigs, called "middens", often incorporating cactus. Nests are often built in small caves, but frequently also in the attics and walls of houses.”

I felt a huge burden fall off my shoulders when we were finished. Now the funky rat’s nest smell in the trailer would be no more, and the whole place would “feel” better in general with that foul thing out of our lives. That night, Jerry built a huge fire, almost of the scale of a fire one would build at BurningMan, and we sat around it basking in our achievements for the day. Fast forward to the next morning when we awoke to the strong smell of RAT FECES throughout the trailer. My heart sank as I dressed, and it was difficult to imagine another night spent under those conditions.

Two weekends later we were armed with deodorizer, antiseptic spray, several varieties of Lysol, and rubber gloves. Jerry, who does not have an as evolved sense of smell as I, remained supportive of my convictions to rid the property of this odor that could be a deal breaker for me.

Kim to Jerry: “Do you smell it?”
Jerry to Kim: “Smell what?”
Kim to Jerry: “The rat’s nest that was under the trailer.”
Jerry to Kim: “No, I never did smell it. I don’t smell anything. My nose is plugged up.”

We scrubbed the trailer walls, cupboards, floors and every possible space that could absorb smells. We brought cushions outside to air out. We researched how to get rid of animal smells, specifically that of rodents, and decided that lime (calcium carbonate – highly caustic) would be the best, although possibly somewhat inhumane, way to get rid of the smell and deter more rats from making the area beneath the trailer their home. Finally, we decided to build a barrier around the bottom of the trailer to prevent more pack rats from moving in. After a very tiring two days of cleaning, we headed back down the hill to Salt Lake City. The smell of rat feces permeated my clothes, and I vowed to scrub my skin raw when I got home. Thankfully, the smell was greatly decreased the next time we stayed in the trailer. Finally, our most recent stay was completely funky-rat-smell-free, partially due to leaving the vents on the ceiling open for two weeks straight, and partially due to the lime under the trailer....